Wednesday 9th of March 2016 18:32
It’s arguably the bane of most of our lives, that seemingly constant, soul-destroying barrage of unsolicited telemarketing calls which continually break our daily rhythms and thought processes so as to try and sell us something we don’t need/already have/are not remotely interested in (delete as applicable). Worse still, an increasing amount of time the voice on the other end of the receiver is an automated one, which can’t wait to inform the attention-disrupting listener that they’re here to help them claim damage for that road traffic accident they were recently involved in. You remember it surely? No? Are you telling us it was someone else? Or failing that time-waster, perhaps an actual human (on the plus side) telling us that they could selflessly recoup a whole load of mi-sold PPI on our behalf; in exchange for a nominal 99.9% commission of course. Which is jolly nice of them.
Well now, the perfect defence mechanism has become available to counter such unwanted callers/harassers/pests/nuisances (again, strike off as you see fit) who simply can’t take ‘no’ for a final answer, and it takes the form and function of that most 21st Century of things, a robot. Finally the answer to all of our prayers is here, courtesy of one man who has, admittedly, gone that bit further than most in a bid to ultimately deal with unwanted calls from persistent telemarketers. The sort that we have to field all hours of day, evening, weekend and bank holiday. Step forward Roger Anderson, whose robotic invention might stop short of being AI-driven, yet is more than up to fending off relentless call centre staff from near and far all the same.
Inventor Creates Phone Bot Which Analyses Speech Patterns and Counters Cold Callers
Fed up – like the rest of us – with picking up the phone to constantly be met with cold-calling voices (animated and slightly less so), Anderson set about creating an equally automated response bot which long-suffering members of the public can deploy to irritate telemarketers just as much as they irk and inconvenience us. Not to mention waste 5 or more minutes of their day which they’ll never get back. Designed to analyse the cold-callers’ speech patterns, Anderson’s invention then replays pre-recorded responses, with a view to keeping the unwitting telemarketer on the line as long as possible. In a truly table-turning manner.
One of the many stock retorts that Anderson’s anti-phone pest robot harbours is; “So, hang on. I haven’t really had a chance to really wake all the way up. So can you just go a little slower – who is this?” and if that doesn’t pique the telemarketers’ interests, then maybe the possibly sarcastic (depending on which side you’re on here); “Aw geez, hang on there's a bee on me. Hang on. Ok, you know what you keep talking, I'm not going to talk though, but go ahead and I'm just going to stay quiet because there's a bee,” might be the best pre-recorded option to go for. According to reliable sources, a number of the calls last as long as 22 minutes in total; an impressive – if not ambitious - feat when bearing in mind that the innovator’s mission is to disrupt the flow of auto-dialers. Speaking on the very subject, Anderson said; “The goal is to have these robots answer if possible and break the auto-dialers and maybe it will stop their business practice.” What’s more, he’s even gone as far as to launch a kickstarter campaign which will enable users to implement a range of different voices for his automated robot answering services, which also extend to cover variations in accents and genders to keep the telemarketers on their toes.
You will be glad to hear that we dont need you to go to such lengths to stop receiving calls from our offices, we pride ourselves in our low levels of complaints and great service, however if you wish to have your telephone numbers removed from our systems please contact us at email@example.com with the telephone numbers you would like removing and we will do just that and confirm the same via email (for data protection purposes please provide your name and postcode so we can identify you correctly on our systems)
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